And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
operation harelip BJ is a go
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
