Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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