Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
