small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
