her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
