are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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