We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
