Screwed.edu
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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