I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
