dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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