so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
