I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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