Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
is it fun? or sober?
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