Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
