i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
