we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
