but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Be still, my beating vagina.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
