I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
