he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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