Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Porn is love you can see.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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