What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
