Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
