I just threw up on my dentist
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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