yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
