Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
