She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
