everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize