Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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