tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
They took my balls.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
