she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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