I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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