We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
