Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
