Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
is wine microwaveable?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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