So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Randomize
