We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
