found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
