Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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