Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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