she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
