i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
