if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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