Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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