I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
