oh god the rape fog is back!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Enjoy the penises
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
