just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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