just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
