I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
