I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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