I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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