im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
