I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Less talking, more tequila
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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