You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
