AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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