I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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