rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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