trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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