whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
