Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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